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Home > Wondering What Planet DH Lives On? (Warning - RANT)

Wondering What Planet DH Lives On? (Warning - RANT)

October 30th, 2008 at 09:23 am

Apparently it is one where things cost nothing and there are no expenses! I wish I could join him in his fantasy land but I am firmly rooted in reality land. We were going over some financial info for a business he is hoping to start. It would involve some financing of the initial start-up costs and they want to see your expenses, current income etc. I was providing numbers for all of the budget categories for him and he kept questioning every number I gave him, saying, no way, we cannot be paying that much for that. I have always been the one to handle the finances and pay the bills but it has never been hidden from him. All the bills are put in a basket, then filed when paid. My checkbook is always in my purse. He could look at any of it any time he wanted to. But, he doesn't really want to cause then he might have to move a bit closer to reality land. What really got my blood boiling was when he started arueing with my estimate of miscellaneous monthly expenses. I said we spend at least $600 on miscellaneous stuff. $300 of that is savings and college funds. Another $170 is karate fees for our two youngest. So really, only $130 for additional things like hair cuts, gifts, school trips, home office supplies, dry cleaning, etc. etc. etc. He started getting really upset and said I was way overestimating, just to prevent him from being able to start this business. He said was trying to inflate the numbers. Personally I was way underestimating but I could not convince him of this. I started naming miscellaneous expenses from just the past month (school pictures, 2 kids hair cuts, wedding gift, birthday party gift, 2 field trips, college application fees, SAT fees etc. etc. etc.) He kept saying "but we don't pay those every month" completely missing my point that DIFFERENT miscellaneous stuff comes up every month. I finally got him to stop arguing by tallying the monthly expenses like this for August, Sept. and Oct. They ranged between $800 - $1000. He went off to sulk quietly, mumbling about the need to cut expenses. Argh!!! This from the man who leaves the lights and TV on all night if I go to bed before him, runs the water while he brushes his teeth, takes 45 minute showers - I could go on! He claims he wants to cut back but since he is the primary offender, I have little faith that he will do more than talk about it. I love him and he does have many good qualities but a sense of reality about finances certainly isn't one of them.

8 Responses to “Wondering What Planet DH Lives On? (Warning - RANT)”

  1. mom-sense Says:

    God love the men ... mine gt ruffled this morning when I told him he has wait util his next paycheck to fill up the car that he parks for the winter and to add stabilizer. he said "Tomorrow?" I said, "No, two weeks after that). Here our expenses for the next two weeks: w $36 for school pictures (cheapest packages), $40 for follow-up vet visit, $25 oil change, $50 for 1st grader to play basketball, $8 for book club dues, $10 for soccer coach gift, $70 for preschooler's once a week program, etc. etc. I usually allow $200 for extraneous expenses and we are OVER that. Maybe our husbands live in a similar galaxy ... or solar system ...

  2. kdmoffett25 Says:

    I think mine lives there as well. He wants to know where every penny goes, but when he wants to do something and I say no that it is not in the budget he rants about it. Forgetting that he bought X for X amount the day before. Therefore, pushing us farther behind and me doing the juggling act to keep my pace going! LOL

  3. ceejay74 Says:

    Mine will simply not call his UK credit card and ask them to refund a surplus to his UK checking account! I overpaid by about 5.25 pounds (about $10.50) and I know it's not much, but I'd like it to go back into his account. He's like "why don't I just use the card to buy something we'd buy anyway?" OK, find something that you estimate will cost exactly the exchange rate the day the transaction hits. Yeah, right. I'm going to end up paying off some more on the card, and god help me if I accidentally overpay by a bit (this is a card I can't check the exact balance of, so I have to wait for the statements to get forwarded from the UK).

    Meanwhile we've got this great Internet phone service that costs 10cents a minute for international calls. Just use it, dangit!

    With my lady, I can at least impersonate her on the phone to get financial stuff done, because we're both American women. But I can't impersonate a British guy, unfortunately.

  4. anonymous Says:

    Time for husbands like these to take over the bill paying for a year or so.

  5. nance Says:

    Ya, mine lives there too! He just ordered his third (still has the first two) multi-thousand dollar power tool, and woodworking is just a hobby! He is a professor and works full time and then some. Doesn't have lots of time for woodworking, but has to pretend he is Norm Abrams, I think.
    He went on a fishing trip to Alaska last month, and had to have all new clothing and equipment for the trip. He has enough equipment to become and outfitter. Anything he purchases for the house ends up my birthday, Christmas, anniversary "gift". It is a good thing he has some good qualities!

  6. merch Says:

    I ain't going to say anything. No sense in shaking a hornet's nest.

  7. Petunia Says:

    If it were me I might have stopped the conversation right when he said I was overestimating, to prevent him from starting a business. That would have been my hint that my DH's reasoning just flew out the window and emotions were taking over. Falling into an argument wouldn't have solved it for us and that's where it would have gone. Good luck in your further efforts to work this out.

  8. whitestripe Says:

    hmmm. fortunately mine and bf's bills are currently only internet and electricity, and rego which we both take care of for our own cars ourselves.

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