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Friend in Foreclosure

August 28th, 2007 at 05:42 am

It seems that you cannot turn around these days without reading or hearing something about the current "mortgage crisis". Part of me feels bad for people who might lose their homes but another part of me wants to yell at people for being irresponsible. Just today I was reading an article about a family in danger of losing their home. They had refinanced to a interest only loan with a high interest rate cause they had some "blemishes" on their credit record. The reason they refinanced - to have more money to pay for their SUV and other vehicle. At what point does someone decide to do something like this - just keep on spending and digging themselves in deeper and then act surprised when the walls of the hole they dug finally start collapsing on them. Along this same vein, I just found out recently that a close friend is having her house foreclosed on and it is going up for sheriffs sale. They have three kids and I feel really bad that they might lose their home, but on the other hand, I cannot help feeling angry at them. I only found out because they had a notice posted on their house by the sheriffs department. I don't feel mad cause I think they had any obligation to tell me. I feel mad cause they are continuing to live in denial. The same week the notice was posted they went out to dinner (just because, and they do this several times a month). And just yesterday my friend called to ask my opinion about where she should have her daughter's birthday party. I felt like screaming - How about at home - bake a cake, plan some games and put the money you save toward your mortgage. I did not say that cause she has not mentioned the foreclosure at all. I was going to mention it and ask if there was anything I could do to help cause I am pretty good and budgeting and figuring out essentials from non-essentials but now I am just frustrated with them. I checked the sherrifs dept website and saw that this case has been on-going for at least 6 months and this is the 3rd time in 3 years that they have been served by their mortgage company. During this time, they have eaten many meals out, she worked with a personal trainer several times a week for months and all their kids had birthdays parties at movies, bowling, etc. I don't think there is anything wrong with any of these choices when you have the money but if you are constantly threatened with foreclosure, I think it is fair to guess that you should not be spending money on these non-essentials. The whole situation just makes me want to scream at them! I just want to ask them "What the **** are you thinking???"

13 Responses to “Friend in Foreclosure”

  1. scfr Says:
    1188277698

    Couldn't agree more ... What I am really curious to know is whether your friends and others in their situation feel any stress about what is happening, or if they are oblivious and somehow think everything is going to turn out fine. And do they somehow think that personal trainers and expensive birthday parties and all the other things are a right and not a luxury? I just don't get it .....

  2. baselle Says:
    1188277703

    They're probably thinking: why bother struggling? I'm already financially dead, so I might just as well live it up. And another appropriate quote from Ben Franklin - "experience is a dear teacher, and some will learn from no other."

  3. campfrugal Says:
    1188303709

    Sometimes people just need to hit rock bottom before they will make a change; and being thrown out of thier house with three children might be their wake-up call. It is sad, but true. There are so many people going through this right now, and I am glad I am not one of them.

    Quick story. Recently I switched my homeowner's insurances to a company that offered a lower premium. She asked me the amount of my mortgage, I told her. Her next question was "What is the amount of your second mortgage". I said "I don't have one". She stopped typing and looked at me as said "You don't have a second mortgage" I said "No, should I and do most people?". Her answer was "Yes, most people do" and almost didn't believe me. I said "Sorry to disappoint you, but I am planning on paying mine off in the next few years".

  4. Ima saver Says:
    1188309089

    I have to agree with you. When i was young, that is all I could think about, getting my house paid off so I never had to worry about losing my home. I scrimped and saved for 11 years and got mine paid off.

  5. monkeymama Says:
    1188312525

    Around here I don't know anyone with a car payment because they all buy their cars against their house. Lord knows what else they bought with their equity.

    It's just status quo (well I think it's insane).

  6. maismom Says:
    1188313088

    I don't think your friend has any sense of numbers, or money. Some people are like her, believe it or not. Well, you all know that. I also have a friend, who has housefull of toys (from my point of view, junk), refinanced so many times, upgraded their house a couple of times, and now the husband is in danger of losing his job. (He's an IT person, but works for the homebuilding co.) They also eat out a lot, and keep spending $$ for their toys. I don't understand them. They must not be able to count or something.

  7. mbkonef Says:
    1188313928

    I agree with all the comments. I checked on-line to see if the sheriffs sale was real at first and there is a link to the property history. They have lived there 12 years and owe at least $60,000 more than they paid for the property. I guess that means they refinanced at least once (or more) based on the equity in the house. Why in the world would you want to take on more debt? I live for paying off my mortgage and being able to put that money towards retirement, kids college etc. Certainly not cars, clothes and dinners out. That is the crazy thing about the situation. They don't have a fancy house full of the latest upgrades, the newest car or take fancy trips. All of the debt seems to be related to small time stuff like clothes, dinners out etc. so they may lose the house and cannot even say they really lived it up before then. It just seems to be a case of nickel and diming themselves into debt. There was no job loss, major illness etc. to explain it away- just small time stuff adding up over time. It really makes me think about how the small amounts here and there really can add up - for better and for worse.

  8. daybyday Says:
    1188320704

    That's interesting info about them. Wow, that's too bad.

  9. miclason Says:
    1188327117

    ...maybe they think it's "too small to make a difference"? I know my sis and cousin suffer from that...Oh, it's just $5, or $10, or $20, that's not going to make a difference towards the thousands that I owe!...and, yes, I do spend the occasional $5 or $10 or even $20 on "small stuff", but, at least I'm counscious of it and try to keep it to a minimum!

  10. Carolina Bound Says:
    1188346390

    It seems like I run into more and more people who are clueless about money. They don't seem to understand how it works -- like, it can run out! Easy credit has really ruined a lot of people who might have been okay in the days when cash was required for everything.

  11. daylily Says:
    1188355169

    When I see something like this, I just want to step in and teach these people how to make it work. I've seen something similar and it just makes me cringe. I wonder if our entire economy is going to collapse some day because of people like that.

  12. shiela Says:
    1188381994

    Maybe it could be some kind of addiction, like gambling.

  13. anonymous Says:
    1190499864

    I'm going through this same thing saw on the sheriff's sale that my friend's house was sold, yet she don't say a thing, keeps saying it's being sold by a real estate agent that it's there idea, to sell it, i know better, next comes foreclosure, i don't know what to dooo either?!?

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